grub skipping from one blade of grass to another

At heart, I am an old woman. I’ve been casted at least three times as an old lady in theatrical productions. I didn’t try out for any of those roles; the directors just saw it in me. I have a knack for spurting folklore-ish wisdom with a rattling voice, and my frail pointyness adds nicely to the illusion. I also dream of being 83 years old. I can much more clearly imagine myself as a grandmother than I can a mother. I think it will be lovely to one day just pretend I am senile… could anyone really do anything more than laugh if an adorable little old lady decided to bathe in the city fountain?? There is a liberty in old age that I do not possess now.

 


In the past weeks I have developed a nightly ritual to sooth myself to sleep. I curl up in my afghan, don my night cap, and crochet as I listen to a book on tape. I complete this by 10pm every night. I imagine I will do the same thing when I am 83. But, really, it is this book on tape that I wanted to tell you about: Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. I just made my way through the infamous chapter on the battle at Waterloo. “Made my way through” is the best I could muster with this chapter, but I rewound to listen to the concluding lines at least three times:

This is what Waterloo was.

But what matters it to the Infinite? all that tempest, all that cloud, that war, then that peace? All that darkness did not trouble for a moment the light of that immense Eye before which a grub skipping from one blade of grass to another equals the eagle soaring from belfry to belfry on the towers of Notre Dame.

These words give me hope.

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3 Comments on “grub skipping from one blade of grass to another”

  1. Ryan says:

    whoa, you have a tape deck still? you ARE old. hah!

  2. ani says:

    Ha. No, that’s funny that I used the words “tape” and “rewound”. I actually am listening to CDs. ‘Books on CD’ doesn’t sound as good to me as “books on tape”, though. Funny.

  3. Tess says:

    Hi Ani! I can totally see you as a grandma and an old lady. You’ll be a fabulous then as you are now!
    I have a similar feeling; that I’ll really hit my peak and feel free when I’m old and people don’t expect me to behave a certain way. Old people are the best (and fat babies, too).
    Few enjoy reading, listening, and knitting/crocheting as much as we do! Glad to hear you are still going strong with the crochet hook.
    Also, I love those fantastic photos of old ladies 🙂


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